Finding a Cofounder: Patience, High Standards, and Openness are Key

I’ve been a cofounder several times at this point so a number of people have asked me how I find or choose people to work with. Why should you listen to someone who has failed at starting a startup not once but several times? Two reasons:  1. Because the people were not the proximate cause of the startups not working. 2. I’ve learned from each failure to be more selective each time.

Understanding the High Stakes

Investors who play the angel game might spread their cash across ten or more startups, hoping that a few will win big. When you're a founder, you're betting everything on a single idea, maybe one you’ll stick with for years. It's estimated that

90 percent of startups fail

, (if you include unincorporated MVP stage startups it’s likely 99%+) so that gamble is enormous. If you’re investing your time, you need to evaluate cofounders and ideas even more harshly than an investor would.For those of us who write code, we've heard countless pitches: "Build my idea for equity." It happens so often that developers typically warn each other to avoid equity-only deals. I’m not quite that pessimistic, but some caution is warranted. If your cofounder isn’t building the product, they had better be phenomenal at everything else or at least extremely hard working and focused.

My Criteria for Potential Cofounders

1. Mutual Respect We don’t have to be best friends but we’ll be spending a lot of time together. You want some common interests and you want to like your cofounder. If someone only sees me as a tool to code up their vision, I’m out. Also can they take feedback without getting defensive or angry?
2. Fair Equity Standard If I'm there from day one, I want an equal split of the company or a mix of pay and equity. What you currently have after a month or two is nothing compared to what you’ll build together. (A vesting schedule with a 1 year cliff can make sense for all parties IMO but some people shy away from this). 
3. In it for the long haulYou’re looking for a 5+ year partnership. Desiring revenue fast is healthy, expecting to get rich quickly and bail is not.
4. Proven Need When it's not my own idea, I expect real proof that a real problem exists and people will pay to solve it.
5. Unfair Advantage They need to have expertise I lack; expertise that the smartest engineers at FAANG companies lack. Are they able to maintain this advantage if AI gets twice as powerful next year? Maybe they have access to a super expensive enterprise software other founders wouldn't have, or they have important data we can train off of that even OpenAI can't get.
6. Drive and Grit I need a partner who puts in the work. If we're aiming for real growth, that person must be relentless. I've heard it said a good founder can be described as a "force of nature". That’s where the bar is.

Be Willing To Walk Away Time is precious. Especially now things are moving so fast. There is an enormous opportunity cost if you get stuck working on wrong idea or with the wrong team.

Where to Spot Potential Partners

I live in San Diego, and I usually attend two tech events a week. My friend Jonah keeps track of the best local meetups on

The Social Coyote

, while Hussein runs

My Startup Beach

which lists a lot of the events. He recently added an "Asks" feature which seems like a promising place to ask for intros to founders in your preferred niche. I've hit up all kinds of gatherings: founder surf days, pickleball sessions, casual tech coffees, and more. If in-person meetups aren't your thing, Y Combinator's

Startup School

has a matching feature for founders. When I was actively looking for a cofounder, I spent time every day exploring profiles, scheduling video calls, and comparing visions. I also really enjoy Ron's and Ken's

Tech Coffee

events Tobin's and Corey's SD

Indie Hackers

and of course Neal Bloom's

Founders Hike

. If you are into AI

SDx

has a ton of talented ambitious members and is definitely worth checking out. Try to meet 100+ founders. When I was seriously looking, I would jump on a zoom with people from YC's cofounder matching 3-5 times per week. Bring Something to Talk About You don't need an MVP yet, but you should at least have a concept mapped out. A friend and previous cofounder recently showed me

tldraw computer

which makes it ridiculously easy to build a wireframe that actually does something. Products like

Replit

,

v0.dev

by Vercel,

bolt.new

and

Cursor

are helping people ship. In some cases people who can't code are able to hack a prototype together with just $20 and some persistence. BTW check out Corey's super helpful article on

Coding with Cursor

if you are new to it. If you're a developer building a mini MVP, app, or tool for yourself is the best way to showcase your skill.

OwnNav

has made me less than $100, but it's a complicated and functional app that proves I can build cross platform front end and backend. https://torreysystems.com/assets/ownnav-CdgUaTPR.webp

Starting Small vs Unicorn Hunting

Due to movies like The Social Network, people sometimes assume that you can build a massive company as a student or fresh founder without fully appreciating the hard work involved. While there's excitement in aiming for something huge, I like starting with smaller, validated concepts before swinging for the fences. I like Pieter Levels's book on this

MAKE: The Indie Maker Blueprint

. I definitely underestimated how hard you need to work, and I think a filter for grit/tenacity/discipline might be the most important criteria I haven't mentioned yet. 

Take your time! Working Alone is Fine (For Now)

I've discovered I enjoy working alone. It lets me pivot quickly, explore ideas, and set my own pace. That freedom has led me to focus on projects I truly care about without having to worry about anyone else’s feelings if I decide to pivot or drop the project. This doesn't mean I'll never partner up again. I just want it to be the right fit when I do.

Final Thoughts: Be open! Tell people you are looking.

Finding a great cofounder doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes they come from unexpected places. I met one of the most talented developers I've ever worked with from a Craigslist posting of all places. We worked together for 2+ years and while the product ultimately didn't work out we built some great things together and I feel incredibly lucky to have worked with him. Don't just meet potential cofounders, tell people you are looking! You might uncover someone in your network who has been looking for a partner as well but never mentioned it. That’s why it's crucial to let friends and colleagues know you're open to teaming up.

All that being said, I also think you can go far on your own these days. I’m hearing a lot of people say “OpenAI is my cofounder” which is a little sad but there’s some truth in it. Sam Altman has stated he expects AI to enable billion dollar companies with one employee, while I have my doubts and I find most of these tools eventually need hard debugging, I can't deny that it's way easier to launch now than it ever has been before. If you want a cofounder, tell people you want one! P.S. I wrote and edited this post on my new writing platform

Wordara

. I'm trying to write more about what I am working on and discovering this year and I'm building Wordara to help me do it. If you are also your own marketing team of one, I'd love to get your feedback on the beta!